Proverbs 4:23, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”
Introduction:
Movies, social media, YouTube, websites, Wikipedia, gaming apps…to cyberbullying, grooming, cyberstalking, pornography, digital footprint, ransomware, identity theft, sexting, tracking, trolls, coercion, extortion, catfishing, and more! This lesson addresses the complexities of technology’s influence on individuals, specifically families. We need to use technology wisely, understanding its potential for both good and harm. These principles are the same with handling adults under your leadership, so we do not want to limit our thought.
Praying now to include God into this discussion with us is where to start. We seek guidance from God today on this matter.
Let’s examine to see our current knowledge and mindset upfront with some starting warm up questions and thoughts.
- —How can we, as families, best utilize the blessings of technology, while guarding against its potential for harm and spiritual damage?
- —Technology, while undeniably beneficial and helpful, also presents potential pitfalls. In what ways can it be helpful?
- —Please identify some common spiritual traps families and friends often encounter when incorporating technology into our homes and or daily life.
Pitfalls to Avoid: I Recently Listened To Online Biblical Counselor, Spencer Harmon, Speak Of A Few Gathered Bible Ideas For Addressing This Topic That I Heard Similar Before From Our Circles…
1. Neglecting the Conforming Power of Technology: Romans 12:2 encourages us not to be conformed to this world. Technology, like the ocean, subtly shapes our children. Recognize the effect of every screen, game, show, and movie on their thoughts and actions.
- —Romans 12:2 instructs us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” There’s an assumption there. And the assumption is that the world is seeking to conform you. This implies a constant conflict, a spiritual struggle against the world’s corrupting influences. The world, by its very nature, seeks to mold us in its image. We must actively resist this molding influence.
- —Because the world constantly strives to conform us, as stated in Romans 12:2, we must actively resist its influence, it needs to happen. When children engage with technology, they are exposed to the world’s shaping. And what I want to say to families is when your kids are engaging with tech, there’s conforming that’s going on, so we need to train up our youth for such.
- —I love this example constantly given since I live by the ocean. People get into the ocean thinking, “Oh, it’s a neutral thing”. You’re in the ocean swimming around, and then you look back and you realize you just moved about 100 feet sideways down the beach away from your camped out beach towel. And that is what tech is like with families. We don’t recognize the force of it, so, we tend not to take technology so seriously. Technology, like the ocean, often appears neutral, but its influence is significant and pervasive. Just as one can unwittingly drift considerable distances in the ocean, so children (and adults) can be subtly influenced through continuous exposure to technology. This subliminal shaping often goes unrecognized—technology’s power is not immediately obvious, and can be quite dangerous separating us from all that is good.
Biblical counsel often underscores the importance of responsible technology use. Observation consistently reveals that granting children unfettered access to technology, especially when unsupervised, can lead to significant issues.
Numerous authors, both Christian and secular, have highlighted the critical need to prioritize children’s online safety and digital well-being. Frequently, pastoral experience demonstrates that problems in a child’s spiritual development and behavior often stem from unmonitored technology use, particularly when a child is alone with a smartphone. This underscores the necessity of vigilant parental oversight and a conscientious approach to technology management.
Just as a child should not be placed in a dangerous situation without supervision and protective measures, parents should establish clear boundaries and responsible usage protocols for digital interactions. This cautious approach to technology use reflects a proactive and responsible safeguarding of a child’s well-being in the digital world. We need to take our parental authority and our children’s folly to sin seriously, let us not put our kids in the ocean before they can swim without a lifejacket on.
2. Underestimating the Foolishness of the Heart: Proverbs 22:15 warns us about the inherent tendencies toward folly in children. We must shepherd them, not assume technology won’t influence them. They need guidance and protection from harmful influences.
3. Never Surrendering Parental Authority: Ephesians 6 highlights parental responsibility in raising children. Don’t yield to the digital age. You have an important role in guiding them through a world that’s increasingly technological.
4. Unprotected Privacy: Technology and privacy are linked. A child alone with a smartphone in a room is at increased risk of harm. Take tech seriously and watch them closely, and never give them unprotected access to things on the internet.
5.1 Corinthians 13:11 show as kids mature into adults they take on step by step more independence into handling for themselves things like these technologies- this comes with helping them cultivate their maturity while they are still dependent on us. We do not want to simply release them into a completely overwhelming world making it almost a guarantee that without us they will ultimately crash and fail. Matthew 28:19-20 “Go and make disciples” not dependents is the command. The balance question of “how” to do this is case by case dealing with the capability and maturity level of each child.
Practical Application – The Three ‘C’s’:
Deuteronomy 6:6-9, “6 And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
The big thing in Deuteronomy 6 is there’s talking everywhere. You go, you’re talking. Communication is key, being silent in assumption or neglect to think some other person will do it is bad.
1. Company: Be present with your children as they interact with technology. Watch movies, shows, and engage in conversations about what they are experiencing. Use Deuteronomy 6 as a guide to teach them diligently through conversation and active presence.
2. Conversation: Use technology interactions as opportunities for discipleship. If a child shows you something on a phone or computer, talk to them about the experience and use God’s Word for guidance.
Example: During a movie, use that as a moment to teach truths about God’s design for relationships about healthy intimacy and appropriate behavior.
3. Curation: Curate content. Control access to technology, internet, and social media to the best of your ability. This could involve strategically using tools to monitor and guide their choices—taking a very active role in guiding and limiting what they’re exposed to. Or maybe could be having a family “parking area” for devices once they come home.
Tech to help:
—Parental Control Apps/Software: (EVEN HAVE TIME-LIMITERS ON MANY)
Example of one is”Qustodio https://www.qustodio.com/en/premium/?rdt_cid=4920879265941103965&utm_campaign=ww_en_website_communities_rt&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=reddit
—You can find more companies like VidAngel that offer safe and customizable streaming experiences by searching “vidangel alternatives”
Vidangel- https://www.vidangel.com
—Safety & Security Setup…your device and online accounts all have security settings. Research and maximize on these things.
True Life Example Of Engaging Your Kids I was recently shown through Harmon as well:
- —A 17 year old comes up to you, as a parent, and they say, “hey, Mom and Dad. I’m on this text thread and I just want you to see what this person said. Help me think about that.” This is a win as a parent, right? It’s like when a kid is pointing the phone at you and saying, “would you help me think through this,” and then you get to open up God’s word and keep company with them. You’re present with them and they’re talking with you about the things that are coming at them through the screen.
- —A eight-year-old and a 9-year-old girl are watching a movie together. And in the movie, there are two characters, a man and a woman that weren’t married and they kissed each other. And you know girls, they’re like giggling and are bashful, covering their eyes and they don’t know what to do. It just happened on the screen. It was relatively innocent right? The kids see this and if would have said simply, “We’re not looking at that, we’re not talking” what direction could that pull them? So instead of letting it go, as a parent taking the time to stop in that moment the show and say, “Okay let’s talk about this. That isn’t God’s design. It’s not God’s design for you to share that sort of intimacy with each other when you’re not married. Here is God’s design for intimacy.” That’s a win as a parent. You’re talking with your kids about things that they are engaging with.
If you’re doing curation without being with them—company— therefore without conversation, then you are going to miss the opportune point, and they’re going to take anything later said as being some sort of legalistic thing. And you know what happens when we are legalistic toward our children—they now want the thing you’re keeping them from more than anything else. And so, we have to balance this out with these other two elements.
So, watch movies with your kids. Talk about their social media interactions as your kids get older and they start engaging with technology. Note that every parent disagrees on when you give phones and tablets out? I think the later the better.
Evaluation Considerations…What Does Being A Steward Mean?:
“Steward”, epitropos in Biblical Greek, means roughly “On A Manner Of Importance: one to whose care something is committed to”.
1 Corinthians 4:7, “And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?” Many verses, like this one, show the logic concept that everything we have has come from God, so there is no reason for pride. So we need to treat the technology we are ‘given’ in this same manner.
1. Using Technology To Glorify God: 1 Corinthians 10:31 guides us to glorify God in everything we do. Use tech, not merely for convenience, but to bless others and grow in wisdom.
2. Technology As A Gift: 1 Timothy 4:4-5 encourages us to receive blessings, thank God for His gifts to include technology which can assist in everyday life while using common sense and discretion.
3. Using Technology To Do Good: Luke 10:27 reminds us to love our neighbor. Utilize technology to build community, connect with others, and be part of God’s service.
Discuss with your family/those underneath you of the glory of God, receiving technology as a gift to steward, therefore responsible of doing good with technology. This helps you begin to evaluate things:
—Are we really using this for the glory of God? And you think about gifts: Is this technology a gift that we can thank God for or is it a God in our life now that’s enslaving us?
—Are we actually using this to do good and to bless others or for our own selfish gain?
Answering those types of questions, putting it through that grid can really help parents make some biblical decisions. Yes, these things can be good things used for the glory of God, but by the same token, they can also be damaging and decaying and destructive. Openly talk about these things with your family/team therefore using this conversation to disciple as we engage and steward technology.
Additional Advice:
—Recognizing Our Generation Gap: Today’s generation is the first to navigate an immersion of technology from a young age. Adjusting expectations to the shift of this generational divide is something we must consider, we cannot hide and pretend this away.
—Vetting Friendships, Stalkers, And Hunters That Are Out There: The ease of online connections may hide the need for traditional in-person vetting of potential friends. Be actively involved in your child’s life inside and outside of computer-based interaction. Know the list of who they are chatting with and how they connected. Check up with how those interactions are doing.
—Viruses, stealing personal information, credit/banking information theft: SCAMS are a truth in the digital world of conformity. There is a huge digital enslavement industry to trickery of people through lies and AI made up information to con people into an unsafe space. Some people online, many of them, are not real but alias’s of opposite pretend people.
—Some are also simply AI technology engaging the people. This is why we always have to be vigilant. 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour”. This is a digital truth as well. Awareness of these things are key as Proverbs 23:23 truth seekers.
In the end foster a biblical awareness as to how to help navigate today’s digital world. By actively parenting, monitoring, and providing guidance, families can use technology for good rather than allowing it to negatively influence them. Talk to your kids and start creating conversations that build trust while creating a healthy tech environment fostering a positive relationship between your kids and their devices.
Therefore we need some prudent AWARENESS to shepherd ourselves and families in Online Chatting & in navigating the digital landscape
So more in full— 1 Peter 5:8-9, “8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”
Again, Proverbs 4:23, “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”
Technology has revolutionized communication, connecting us in unprecedented ways. However, online interactions, particularly chatting with strangers, present unique challenges requiring vigilant shepherding. As parents and guardians, we must equip our children and dependents with the wisdom to navigate this digital world safely and responsibly, grounded in biblical principles, not just technological precautions. The online world, like a vast pasture, can contain both fruitful interaction and dangerous predators – we must be discerning shepherds.
Dangers and Cautions in Online Chatting:
The online world is populated not only by helpful resources and positive connections but also by those who seek to exploit, mislead, and harm. We must be aware of the potential dangers:
Grooming: This insidious process involves building a deceptive relationship with a vulnerable person, often a child or teen, to gain their trust before abusing them. Predators use flattery, gifts, or promises to gain compliance. Biblical Principle: Proverbs 14:15 warns us to “Trust not every person, but watch yourself in your dealings with them.” We must prioritize safeguarding our hearts and those we shepherd.
Trolls: Individuals who intentionally upset or provoke others online, creating hostile and unproductive interactions. Biblical Principle: Philippians 2:3 stresses humility and mutual respect; trolls are the antithesis of these virtues. We must teach our children to respond to provocation with kindness and firmness, avoiding the escalation of conflict.
Cyberstalking: This involves the tracking and harassment of individuals online, often through repeated messaging, threats, or unwanted attention. Biblical Principle: Matthew 5:44 emphasizes loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us, teaching our children an alternative to reacting with negativity.
Tracking and Surveillance: Predators may use various tools to track locations, online activities, and personal information. Biblical Principle: 1 Thessalonians 5:22 stresses abstaining from every form of evil; we must teach children/dependents to resist the temptation to share personal information with strangers.
Sexting: Sending sexually suggestive or explicit messages or images. Biblical Principle: 1 Corinthians 6:18 highlights the harmful consequences of sexual immorality; a righteous life doesn’t involve such activity. We need to teach the importance of purity, both online and offline.
Coercion and Exploitation: Using manipulation or threats to force someone into unwanted actions or providing inappropriate content. Biblical Principle: 1 Peter 5:8 emphasizes vigilance and being sober-minded. We must teach children about the importance of resisting pressure from anyone, online or off, to do what is wrong.
Extortion, Blackmail, and Fraudulent Impersonation: Using online interactions to steal money, reputation, or influence, or to create a fraudulent identity to harm another individual. Biblical Principle: Ephesians 4:28, stresses the importance of not being, therefore not allowing anyone to “take advantage” of one another; we must teach children the dangers of deception and how to avoid such situations.
Ransomware: This represents a unique digital threat where malicious software locks or encrypts a victim’s data until a ransom is paid. While not directly a chatting issue in the same way as grooming, it can still emerge through deceptive online interactions. 1 Timothy 6:10 emphasizes the love of money as the root of all evil. Ransomware often stems from a desire for financial gain. Teach children the importance of safeguarding their data responsibly; highlight the danger of clicking on suspicious links, downloading unknown attachments, or responding to alarming or urgent emails. Emphasize the importance of backing up data regularly to mitigate the potential for permanent loss. This safeguards against exploitation and maintains their biblical responsibility of guarding their resources.
Catfishing (Catphishing): Deceptively creating a false online persona to attract victims to form a relationship to gain personal information and/or money. Biblical Principle: Proverbs 12:22 and other verses teaching the dangers of deception and the necessity of truth.
Practical Strategies for Shepherding Families in Online Chatting:
1. Open Communication: Have frequent, open conversations with children about the dangers in online chatting.
2. Setting Clear Boundaries: Establish clear rules regarding who children may chat with, content to be shared, and appropriate behavior in online interactions.
3. Transparency and Monitoring: Engage in responsible oversight and monitoring of the children’s online activity without becoming overly intrusive.
4. Teaching Biblical Values: Reinforce biblical principles of purity, respect, and honesty. Emphasize the importance of avoiding interactions with strangers. This is not about restricting interaction but about discerning trust and intention.
5. Seeking Guidance: Engage with trustworthy resources and mentors from the church community to address these issues effectively.
Conclusion:
Shepherding families in the digital age requires diligent effort, but equipping children with wisdom and reinforcing biblical principles is crucial. Online conversations can be both positive and perilous. By being informed, proactive, and grounded in the Word, we can effectively shepherd our families through the digital world to a place of protection and growth.
Being a family in the digital age requires diligent effort, but equipping children with wisdom and reinforcing biblical principles is crucial. Online conversations can be both positive and perilous. By being informed, proactive, and grounded in the Word, we can effectively shepherd our families through the digital world to a place of protection and growth.
Overwhelmed? Remember Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
God ‘got your back’.